http://outta-line.livejournal.com/ outta_line - LiveJournal.com Tue, 10 Jul 2007 16:59:20 GMT LiveJournal / LiveJournal.com outta_line 8877808 personal http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/46822119/8877808 http://outta-line.livejournal.com/ 100 82 http://outta-line.livejournal.com/7993.html Tue, 10 Jul 2007 16:59:20 GMT http://outta-line.livejournal.com/7993.html so hearing this song for the last two days has made me cry uncontrollably. like every day I'm realizing how worthless and a waste i really am. it makes me wonder why I'm still alive and why i have soo much faith in absolutely the unthinkable. i put myself in situations that are doomed from the beginning. and then i act like its a shock when it blows up in my face. like i don't know what my deal is.. do i have a sign on my forehead that says "please treat me like shit, ill still be here for you in the morning?" like i don't understand how everyone can fuck me over and not give a shit. like i don't put faith in people and the ones that i do put faith in do nothing but completely fuck me over, hard. and as many times as i hear your name and i hear nothing but horrible bad things i still stick up for you. i have not heard a good thing about in you in years. all i hear is how much you suck and how i should pick my friends way better. but you're one of the few people id jump in front of a bullet for. id rather have you alive and well than myself. you're one of my best friends and i love you with all my heart. but i do realize it doesn't matter my feelings are never under consideration. from you, or for anyone in that matter. im at my breaking point i came to this state in bad spirits. lifes been a wreck lately and im trying to hold onto it tight and be chill and not let it rip me apart... but even the smallest things is making matters worse for me. i dont know how much stress, pressure i can actually take. i wish i still drank as much as i used to i wish i still did all the drugs. id be able to handle everything a lot better. im a fucking trainwreck. theres more ways to die then just killing yourself or being murdered and dead as a door knob.... living each day and suffering is a slow painful death cause its not ending anytime soon. suffering day in and day out and knowing once you wake up youre not going to smile anytime soon.. awesome. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Dear rosemary<br />I'd like to fade away<br />So wipe the me away<br />From your diary<br /><br />Suicide whispers<br />In my ear and it happens<br />A lot around here<br /><br />When I said, before<br />I'd sleep not to wake me if you left<br />Well I'm awake<br />And you're not here<br />And I'm better off dead<br /><br />This is my last<br />Love letter to you<br />It's not a stunt<br />I'm well aware were through<br /><br />When you think of me<br />Remember better times<br />'Cause ive grown to be<br />Quite selfish when i cry<br /><br />Inconsiderate me<br /><br />Sitting at home for the afternoon<br />Don't wanna go outside<br />Sick of sun soaked concrete streets<br />Close the blinds I'd rather hide<br />Because the ghost in me<br />Is out of key<br />From never keeping love<br /><br />Sick of pale white bedroom sheets<br />Close your eyes, so I can die<br /><br />You were my spine, my crutch<br />My breathe, my sight<br />My life, my death, my all<br />You were my hope, my fear<br />My love, my fear, my love<br />My fear, my fall<br /><br />I can't do this without you<br />I can't do this without you<br />I've tried, I can't, I'm gone<br />Sincerely yours http://outta-line.livejournal.com/7993.html public 2 http://outta-line.livejournal.com/7700.html Fri, 06 Jul 2007 17:06:42 GMT http://outta-line.livejournal.com/7700.html life in ma is decent.. cant wait til i start having money &lt;3 http://outta-line.livejournal.com/7700.html public 0 http://outta-line.livejournal.com/443.html Fri, 25 Nov 2005 01:38:23 GMT http://outta-line.livejournal.com/443.html new livejournal my other one was just too depressing... add it. http://outta-line.livejournal.com/443.html public 3